19. Reflecting, Declutter, Walks & Outings

Reality Check – Time to Remember a Couple of Good Friends

After months of concentrating to get back on my feet again, my thoughts turned to the recent loss of a couple of very dear friends.  I had earlier mentioned that Steve went in Marbella hospital at the same time that I was in Malaga. sadly he lost his brave fight with cancer at the end of January at the time I left hospital.  Because I had been in a bad way, I couldn’t move and it was horrible not to attend his funeral / memorial in Benahavis. 

A couple of months later, our other lovely golf friend, Terry, from El Paraiso also sadly lost his battle from a brain problem at the end of March.  I was still using a wheel chair at the time, so the trip up to Benahavis was difficult. The steep hills and cobbled streets to attend his funeral / memorial, would have been too much.  I felt terrible that I wasn’t there for my girlfriends, Stephanie and Jo, to honor their husbands, but they each generously told me not to worry and hadn’t expected me to attend the ceremonies.  Nevertheless, it hadn’t lessened the pain and sorrow of loss of these wonderful men.  We will miss them.

Thoughts of My Survival: I began to reflect on my own mortality for a bit.  Nothing too morbid, but I had been in awe of how incredible that I had survived at all, after the sad loss of two lovely friends.  No rhyme or reason behind the causes of why they lost their battles. I was acutely aware of having been so lucky with my own outcome.  I mentioned before, timing in my case had been vitally important.   My symptoms were quickly recognized and swift action taken to save me.  Unfortunately, in Steve and Terry’s cases, their situations had been completely different.  I realized that Colin, family and friends had gone through so much distress and faced up to possible life changing decisions. Never happened because I pulled through my coma.  An uncertain period that I wouldn’t have wished on anyone.  It had been OK for me at the time, as I wasn’t aware of what everyone must have gone through when they were told that I wasn’t expected to survive my coma.

Deep Thoughts of Mortality: Quite a few thoughts drifted into my head since then, which had only been natural.   There had been, “what if” thoughts of if I hadn’t survived.  Those thoughts became quite overwhelming at times, which had ended in quite a few tears.  I just wasn’t able to describe why I felt such a wave of emotion. I sometimes questioned how on earth did I survive, but then felt extremely lucky.  This life changing experience made me realize that it was time not to take my new chance for granted, take stock of my life, be more patient, happier and marvel at the incredible opportunity to make some changes.  I pulled myself together, saluted my lost friends and became more grateful for opportunities of new experiences and memories yet to be created.  It became time not to question why, but make improvement in all aspects where ever I could.

Moved Back into My Office – 2^nd May: Four months since my attack I spent a few weeks of gradually having my office decluttered of files and documents. It was great that my computers were back in my office again.  I was so happy! Colin, Della and friends told me that I should take things easy and not to return to my usual work schedule.  Under Colin’s and Della’s eagle eyes, there had been no danger of that.  I was no where close to working as before but it felt so satisfying that everything was back in the right places again. Although I wasn’t allowed to work, I was able to use my computer for social media catch-up and use the internet in familiar surroundings. It was slow and hard for me to concentrate at times, but I managed to fumble through.

More De-Cluttering – Battle of the Clothes Hangers!: My tidying regime over those weeks extended to the rest of the house.  With Dela doing most of the grunt work, I was able to go up and down the stairs and time to tackle my wardrobes, cupboards and sundry items upstairs. I had loathed to let go of any of them for years.  Colin and Della accumulated my discarded items into large bags, boxes and in a pile inside the entrance hall.  Those things were to be packed into Colin’s car, for dumping or delivery to the St George’s Charity shop in Cancelada village.  I had noticed that Colin included a collection of empty plastic hangers in the heap.  I hated wasting them and sneakily tried to claim them back while nobody looked.  Unfortunately, Colin had spotted me hobbling off into the distance with a number of hangers under my good arm.  I had been busted!  He shouted, “what the heck do you think you’re doing?”, as he caught up and wrestled them away from me.  I was adamant that I needed them. He accused me of being stubborn and being a “toot collector”.  I was very serious at the time. He caught me red handed, but we’ve giggled at the memory since.

Walk Around the Block – 4^th May: I still needed supervision and help when I went on my walks with Colin or Della.  However, I was able to regularly totter around the neighbouring Park Beach complex (without a rest stop), which had been about 1km.  I felt really proud of myself, even though my style of walking had left a lot to be desired.  I had no flexibility in my left ankle and my leg remained straight. When I bent the knee it was difficult.  I had to slam down my bad leg, while I operated my good leg normally.  It hadn’t been a pretty sight, as I laboured along the very slow process.  I honestly had no idea how Colin and Della continued in their patience with me.  We began to time these sessions. I went from 45 minutes, down to 30 minutes.  I know it doesn’t sound much for a normal person, but for me it had been a huge achievement.

Girlie Lunch – 6^th May: I made arrangements to have a “Girlie Lunch” with Michelle.  She kindly picked me up in her car and we decided to go to Kok Thai restaurant again.  I know, it probably wasn’t too imaginative of us, but we both loved their food.  Michelle had difficulty in parking near to the restaurant, so I didn’t mind trying to walk the distance.  As I was still unsteady, I had to hang onto Michelle for support.  We had a few laughs when I struggled to go up and down some steps, but we eventually managed.  It had been a fun and giggly lunch together and I felt so grateful that she had been kind enough with her patience and time to take me out, so Colin didn’t have to work around his daily schedule to drive me.  When we made our way back to the car, it had been even funnier.  I discovered that if I laughed too much, I would lose control of my bladder.  Michelle made me laugh more when she told me that I had better bring a spare pair of knickers the next time I planned to go out!

Golf Friends Lunch – 9^th May

Our golfing buddies came back to Spain, so Colin and I arranged to meet up with them.  Through our previous weekly golf society, we have played golf together for years.  We had gathered a wonderful mix of well over 200 hundred members who were resident or owned holiday homes, men and women of various handicaps, regular and seasonal clients.  We arranged friendly weekly competitions at different golf clubs each week.  Over time, a number of us liked, and joined, El Paraiso golf club.  Our gang decided to try the new “La Locanda” pizza and pasta place in Benamara.  It was owned by a delightful Italian family. Colin and I were pleased to recommend another pizza and pasta place away from our previously owned restaurant, with friends. It had been a lovely sunny day with our table seated in their covered outside terrace area. The food had been good and it was wonderful that we had caught up with everyone.

New passport arrived: After all the fuss of preparation of my dreadful photo session, the application on line, I was pleasantly surprised when my new passport arrived from the UK.  It had been an excellent online service and I would thoroughly recommend the system.  I loved that I had been given the usual pink coloured European passport. I had read in the British news that they would revert back to the old blue ones due to the “Brexit” conflict.  The awful thing was that I had been stuck with the dreadful new photo for the next 10 years!  Shame I couldn’t change it.  As usual, Colin told me not to be so vain ……

Goodbye Old Walking Shoes – Hello New ones – 12^th May

My usual walking shoes got rather worn and tatty.  It had been a good sign that I had used them regularly.  

Colin said I had to replace them.  My previous ones had been easy to put on and take off, as they had velcro fasteners. I had understandably developed a loathing to fumbling with laces so Colin got me a new pair of slip-ons. 

I had also been treated to a brand new casual outfit, as the weather became warmer.  I felt a bit more “sporty”.  However, I knew anyone looking at me knew that I couldn’t break out into a jog ……

Hacienda – Tax Office: Colin and I always paid our taxes for years as residents and owners of businesses in Spain.  Unfortunately, the faceless, dark suited, pen-pushing bureaurocrats in Malaga hadn’t taken into account, nor cared, that we struggled to pay their demands while I was incapcitated.  Poor Colin had juggled these demands, while he tried to get our business back on track, coped with the loss of my regular income and met the mounting medical bills over the past few months.  No wonder he got more than a little stressed out!  We received a letter that stated I was of “Caracter Negativo” (negative character), because we hadn’t paid certain taxes on time!  I was furious as they made demands on our limited finances, while we strived to cope with everything else.  It seemed that the authorities simply had not cared about my serious illness, as long as they got their money in the end.  Colin got me to go through a load of documents and search for certain tax papers, to take to our tax assesors.  In Spain, the Hacienda (tax office) had the power to debit your bank account, irrespective if you were left with just a few euros in your account.  In the old days, I would have immediately known which files to look for, however, since the recent streamlining and declutter of my office I became a little confused. My slow thinking, struggles and fumbles with papers and folders became a problem.  Colin began to get pretty impatient and voiced his exasperation out loud.  I knew he felt frustrated but I was equally frustrated, more confused and began to get upset.

A Bit Upset and frustrated: After I eventually found the right documents, I quietly climbed onto the cycling machine, while Colin made his way out to the car to take them to our tax assessors.  I felt really downhearted and bothered with myself, as I inexplicably started to cry while cycling.  The frustration and emotion of being useless took it’s toll. As I hated that cycling machine so much, I regarded the exercise as a kind of punishment for having been so slow and incapable.  Colin must have sensed something was wrong, because he came back inside, hugged and kissed my wet face and said, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to be so short with you.  It wasn’t your fault”.  All was forgiven but I couldn’t help crying even more.  After he left, I hated what I had become …..

Early Doors Meeting Place – 14^th May

We lived conveniently close to the Villacana complex and a popular Spanish bar and restaurant, called “Gregorio’s”.  Colin and I often met up with friends there for early drinks after golf or before dinner.  Today was my first visit of the year as our American friend, Paul, briefly passed by during a brief inspection of his property in north Spain.  Our group expanded as we also met up again with others while the sun went down.  

Medical Appointment in Malaga – 16^th May: We had to be in Malaga for an 10.00 am appointment with Dr Hamad.  He had to assess my condition since I had been released at the end of January. He also had to look over the results from my recent MRI scan from a few weeks ago.  As Colin has never been good to drive on the motorway and long distances, our lovely friends, John and Anisa, kindly collected us and were good company on the journey to Malaga.  I felt naturally nervous as this would be the first time meeting Dr Hamad since I lay ½ paralysed months ago.  However, I felt quite excited when I saw the expression on his face when I managed to hobble into the consulting room.  It was obvious that he was surprised to see me on my feet and I felt more relaxed to hear the results of the tests and his opinion.  Apparently, my brain bleed appeared to have slightly reduced, so he was pretty content.   He said that I had progressed very well, keep doing what I had been doing and he didn’t need to see me until November, after the next scheduled MRI scan.  When we mentioned the increasing pains and spasms that I developed at night, he stated that it had been perfectly normal and a good sign.  I told him that the pain had been so severe that I just couldn’t sleep sometimes.  As he couldn’t recommend stronger pain killers, he advised ibuprofane or paracetemol.  I felt a little disappointed as I had hoped that he would come up with some wonder pills in mind.

Celebration Lunch: We all had been happy with the medical outcome, so decided to go for a beach lunch in Estepona.  I was naughty and celebrated with a glass of white sangria, which Colin watered down with con gas (fizzy water) and plenty of ice.  I was past caring.  A celebration, was a celebration, and I felt very happy to share it with Colin and our lovely friends.

Prospect of a Dog! – Friday 17^th May

Puppy – No Way!: Colin had been out on his friday night drinking with buddies at the “Terrace Bar & Restaurant”. The place also fostered rescue dogs, puppies and worked on finding them new homes.  Colin took a shine to one black and white puppy, which had been dumped in a drain with his sister.  Colin became so besotted with him, he had some photos on his phone to show me.  I raised my hand up and told him, “stop””.  Not only had I never owned a dog in my life, we already had two cats at home.  I had been adamant and told Colin, “No way”.

Sneaky Sunday BBQ Introduction: The following Sunday, Colin suggested a Sunday BBQ lunch at the Terrace. I agreed it was a good idea, as had been a beautiful sunny day.   The place was relatively busy and Colin arranged for us to sit with some people outside.  The smells from the BBQ were very tempting and I saw a choice of sausages, burgers and pieces of chicken cooking.  On the side was a table that offered all sorts of salads and sauces.  When the meat was ready, people queued with their empty plates and cutlery.  Colin went to get a selection on a plate for the both of us to share, so I didn’t have to get up.  That was my first BBQ of the year and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Out came the Puppies!: Later, I saw a number of people with puppies.  I took one look at Colin, when I spied the black and white one from his previous photos.  The sneaky so and so had planned this all along!  When the puppy was brought over to me, he was placed on my lap, I just couldn’t help myself.  I looked into those dark, watery eyes and became totally hooked.  He was so adorable and I refused to let him go of him to make sure he wouldn’t be passed onto another table for adpotion, so I grinned and told Colin, “OK”.  From that moment, we named him “Oscar”, after Colin’s Marbella night club from the 1980’s.  I had been disappointed that we couldn’t take Oscar home with us straight away.  He had to undergo a number of injections and Colin had to arrange the proper adoption procedure.  We were told that we might have to wait over a week or so.  Colin was delighted.  He reasoned that Oscar would be good company during the day, and a great companion for me when I would go on my walks.  I agreed, but had been shocked that I actually agreed to have a dog.  What on earth would our cats think?

My New Therapy Dog – 31^st May: After I impatiently waited for Oscar, we were ready to officially adopt from A.D.A.N.A . (Association for the Rights of Abandoned Animals), a charitable organisation.  I had been so excited to see Oscar and amazed how much he had grown in such a short time.  I got wise to the fact that Colin had “fibbed” that Oscar wouldn’t grow to very big.  The indications made me realize that he would be much bigger than anticipated!  Too late, I had fallen for the pup, forgave Colin and couldn’t wait to take Oscar to his “Forever Home”.  I was still pretty nervous of how the cats would react though!

First time in Our Garden: Oscar had been cute as he sniffed around, but had to “christen” our garden, which had not been so cute!  Both our cats were cautious and quietly growled as they tip-toed around him.  Poor Oscar became so inquisitive and eager to play with these creatures, but they soon let him know what they had thought of him and chased him around the garden.  No harm done. It was rather funny when I saw this lively puppy, substantially larger than the cats, ruled by them.  I had been terrified that “Spooky” and “Lucky” would move out in protest, but they oddly overlooked their animosity for each other and became united in their protest against the puppy.  Poor Oscar …..

Please view next page 20 at link “Condition, More Active & New Puppy”: https://www.rebootinglinda.com/update-on-my-condition-more-activity-and-chaos-with-a-new-puppy/

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