RE-CAP OF MY CONDITION
After 6 months, I thought it would be helpful to re-cap on my general condition with my medication, blood pressure, bad leg, bad arm, head, pains, speech and how I felt in general:
Medication: Every morning I took a medium sized yellow tablet called, Enalapril, which was round, film coated, treated blood pressure in combination with other medication. At night I took a smaller red tablet, called Enalapril Davur, which was also film coated and reduced my blood pressure. In addition, I took a small white capsule, called Pregnabalina Ranbaxy, which was to help with pain management.
Blood Pressure: In the mornings I donned on the blood pressure armband the same time, each day. I religiously noted my pressure statistics to show Dr Hamad for our next meeting. From what I knew, the report from our recent meeting hadn’t been too bad but I wanted improvement. Dr Hamad had noted that my blood pressure waivered a little, but seemed pleased that it had remained at a good level so that was the reason for my daily diary of blood pressure for the next time I would see him.
Bad Leg: I still walked very slowly and purposefully. The left leg continued to be annoyingly stiff. However, I was able to bend it slightly whenever I sat, lay down or forced it to bend with my good hand. I just couldn’t get it to naturally bend very well while I walked. I limped with a straight leg and still had to kick the thing out to the side, or drag it along when I was tired. I tackled the stairs while I gripped the stair rail with my good hand, and took each step one at a time. I hadn’t the confidence to let go completely, tackle the stairs freely for fear if I fell down and broke my neck down those tiled steps. Another thing that was irritating me, was that my bad leg kept juddering uncontrollably when I sat down or stood still for too long. It became quite embarrassing at times, as I had to firmly push my leg and foot down with my good hand to steady myself. It was like somebody had flicked a switch to set me off, when I sat or stood. I sometimes looked like a quivering wreck! Either that, or I must have looked incredibly excited at times! Colin and Della drummed into me that I had to accept it and take things slowly.
Bad Ankle: Not much flexibility there. The strange thing was that my ankle was quite supple whenever I moved it up and down, side to side with my good hand. However, I couldn’t move it naturally at will. Each time I manipulated my ankle with my good hand, there had been no problem or pain, but it automatically sprang back into place, like an elastic rubber in my hand. Nothing happened if I tried to move the ankle naturally, so it was very irritating over time. I forced myself to try to stand on my tip toes, lifted myself up, while I held onto the back of the sofa, window or the dining table. A great effort for nothing! Sometimes, exercises would end abruptly as I buckled under the weight onto the floor. I always had to call Colin to pick me up again – horrible …………
Bad Arm: My fingers had movement but they were robotic and clumsy. I still wasn’t able to grip anything very much with that hand, which was very frustrating. I thought I had improved, but the darned item that I tried to grip would just slip out of my hand! I tried to work on raising my arm, but I couldn’t get it any higher than shoulder level. I kept trying but couldn’t force it, unless I supported it up with my good hand. The pain that shot up my back, across my shoulder, then down the rest of the arm was very unpleasant. My God, I felt like a complete geriatric, as I would end in sweats and rasped for breath after the smallest of tasks. How could I feel like this? I used to be so active, and walked the golf course often before! I had been reduced to fight for breath if I tried to reach out to grab something! I tried to remain positive, but it was hard when I had trouble lifting a glass. I felt dejected, but Colin and Della wouldn’t allow me to be downcast. They snapped me back to a better mood with their usual insults and jovial banter. If it hadn’t been for the laughter in the house, usually at my expense, I think I might have allowed myself to wallow into a world of self pity. There was little point in getting depressed but, to be frank, I never actually considered going down that road. I had been dealt a strange hand in the game of life. I just had to try a bit harder and try to get back to normal. Nobody can say, “I can’t”, unless they had tried. So, as I no longer was nimble, I partly accepted my new limitations, for the time being, continued until hopefully “some time when” ……
My Head: That was another thing. It continued to be sore and felt like I wore a hard hat, two sizes too small, or almost as if my pony tail had been tied far too tight. This sensation was constant every day. It was a constant tight throbbing feeling all over my head. It became pretty distracting and impossible to ignore at times. I found it hard to concentrate as conversations flew around me or while I worked on my exercises. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t let that spoil any fun. Dr Hamad had previously stated that my brain bleed had slightly reduced, so hopefully, with time, it would go away altogether. I just didn’t want to continue popping pills every time I had a bad spasm or pain, so I kept my fingers crossed (on my right hand of course) for better times ahead.
Leg & Arm Night Pain: Most of the day I could cope, but it got to the point when I dreaded going to bed. When I went to sleep, it was no problem. However, if I moved in my sleep, changed my position, my leg, arm and back developed a mind of their own. My body would stiffen and my leg and arm would stretch out involuntarily for a few seconds. It felt like some strange creature tried to break out of my body in one of those werewolf movies. Colin had done his best to calm me down, but I always felt awful when my cries of pain or alarm would disturb his sleep. Colin swore he would try to find something to help give me peace and rest.
WORKING ON BEING POSITIVE
Well, enough of the negativity. I thought that, if you might find yourself in the same situation, you will want to know there will be pain, sleepless nights, anger, frustration and also some frightening times while you improve. Nevertheless, it has been said, “no pain, no gain”. You need to soldier on. It was important to consider others in my company. When people asked me,“how are you?”, I knew it was out of politeness, but surely they didn’t want a full list of ailments, aches and pains. Boring! What was important was that if I had improved, people could see that for themselves and it was nice for it to be recognised. I decided to concentrate on the positive side of things. If I felt there hadn’t been any improvement, I said, “I’m fine”, I’m getting there”or just, “I’m a work in progress”.
2nd JUNE – My Speech Needed Working On!: I still had trouble speaking normally. What had been in my head, never sounded right when it came out of my mouth. However, I was convinced that Colin was conveniently deaf too!
He loved watching stuff like the “X Factor”, which had been fair as I made him suffer through “Masterchef” and other cookery programs. On this occasion, it was the finals of “Britain’s Got Talent”, so I was forced to watch it with him. Part way through the acts, I told Colin that one of the magicians had been “predictable”. Colin sat bolt upright, looked at me with surprise and said, “how did you know he’s a peadophile?”. Honestly! I could have started a nasty rumour that way!
Our Strange Conversations: To be honest, Colin and I always had strange conversations in the past. On one occasion, the blame was mine. Years ago, I came home from supermarket shopping and mentioned that I had seen our friend Margitta. She told me that her husband, Mario, had lost a lot of weight on a special diet. Colin asked me “where?”. I told him, “by the fruit and veg counter”. We both looked blankly at each other, and both said ,“what?”. He had meant where had Mario lost the weight, not where I saw Margitta. I guess that became another one of my “Linda moments”.
3rd June – Carefree: Della and I decided to explore further afield. We extended my walk around the Park Beach complex down to the beach. It had been a beautiful day and we both had fun. When we got to the beach, I wasn’t able to tackle the sand, so I enjoyed the view of the sea from a distance. We larked around with a pole from a road feature at the end of the cul de sac. I posed as a “pole dancer”, and stood on my good leg. It had been silly, but we both kept giggling, as we larked about. I certainly wouldn’t pass an audition for the real thing.
7th JUNE – My “Rock”: Our friend Kirstin kindly shared a lovely photo she had taken of us sometime from the past. I really loved it, as it showed us very happy together as normal. It reminded me of how much of a “Rock” Colin has been for me since my attack. He really cared for me very well through the past six months. Anyway, since my attack, we also laughed a lot and he always held my hand in case I fell, while he always said, ” I got you”, which made me feel safe and secure ….
13th JUNE – Got Engaged Again: As my fingers were swollen since my attack, I hadn’t been able to wear my engagement or wedding rings. Today was the first time Colin put the engagement ring back to where it belonged. Unfortunately, my finger was still too big for the wedding ring to fit but that hadn’t mattered. At least I could wear one of my rings. My next goal was to wait until the swelling went down properly, then we would be able to get the wedding ring back on. Although I was disappointed that I couldn’t wear both, it felt great to have at least one of them back on. Guess that meant we got engaged again, but Colin made it very clear that he wouldn’t go through any renewals of our vows. The spoilsport!
14th JUNE – Golf Friends Get Together: As I had been home “stir crazy” again, we arranged to get together with some of our golf buddies for early door drinks at Gregorio’s in Villacana. It was a sunny and warm evening as we supped and had a good catch up. As usual, it got a bit late and things went on for a while, so most of us split up to return to our own homes.
15th JUNE – High Five
It had been a while since my last video clip, so I thought I would share my latest improvement. It was a bit of a windy day, so for those that couldn’t make out what I said, “Morning Campers. Sorry I’ve been housebound the last 2 weeks, but it’s been for a good reason because I’ve been stepping up my exercises. Before I could only do this (raised my bad arm to shoulder height), but now I can do that (raised my bad arm above my head). Woo Hoo!”. To be honest, although I could raise my arm , my shoulder had done most of the work. At least I tried for the first time. It was funny as Oscar “video bombed” me in the background.
MONTH OF PUPPY TRAINING – NOT!
Training a new puppy this past month definitely had its challenges and a great deal of patience on my part. Colin never told me what to expect!
Escape Artist: We had to limit Oscar’s movements in the house. On the first night, we locked him in the office but he was small enough to squeeze through the security grills, somehow climbed the stairs, ended up on our bed, woke us due to the growling greeting of our cats and licked our faces. I felt awful when Colin returned him back to the office and locked the sliding doors. It felt even worse when I heard him whimpering downstairs, but Colin told me it was like a new baby, we had to ignore and Oscar would learn that we wouldn’t come every time he cried and eventually would go to sleep. I still felt cruel and hadn’t completely been convinced. Oscar was also small enough to escape through the “cat hole”, from our office wall into the garden, but we kept the sliding doors locked from the office to the lounge at night to ensure he couldn’t get back into the main part of the house again.
Lock up your Toilet Rolls: There were plenty of times when Oscar had the freedom of the rest of the downstairs of the house during the day, whenever we were around to supervise his activities. Unfortunately, he managed to sneak into the downstairs W.C and ended up running around the lounge and garden with a toilet roll wrapped around him, unravelling as he wandered off! He definitely was our black and white version of the Andrex puppy, from the TV advert. It was such a mess and something told me this was only the beginning of his mischief ……
Shoe Fetish: All my shoes had to be locked away, as Oscar developed a liking to pinch them and hiding on top of our lounge pouffe. Not even Colin’s shoes had been safe! Lord, “Butter wouldn’t melt” with that face of his. How could anyone be angry with him? Such a cute and innocent face.
Bed Time: Oscar had taken a liking to sleeping in the cat’s bed, especially as they no longer used it because of sleeping on our bed at night. In just a few weeks he had certainly grown since he first arrived, and it looked as if he would be outgrowing the bed pretty soon.
First Time on the Beach: Colin and I walked Oscar to the beach for the first time. As I couldn’t walk on the sand, I stayed on the pavement while Colin took Oscar towards the edge of the sea. We felt pretty nervous to let him run about without his leash, because of his naughty nature, so Colin kept the leash on him. It was so cute when I watched Oscar as he hid behind Colin’s legs and ran back away from the water, when the waves came flowing back in. It was great to see “my two boys” appear to bond together.
Speed Walking: Della and I took Oscar along with us on our walk. Della did all the hard work, until I was allowed to try to hold onto the leash for a few seconds. I had no choice in the “speed walking” with that bundle of never ending energy at the end of my leash. He was in such a hurry to move forward, I nearly fell over, so it was safer for Della to take over. I loved the opportunity to pretend at being an owner of a new puppy. However, I was not impressed when he presented me with a dead rat though ……
Please view next page 21 at link “1st Dance, Active, Cooking & Friends”: https://www.rebootinglinda.com/first-public-dance-cooking-more-and-friendly-get-togethers/
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Taking meds isn’t fun but it helps when you need them. What gets me is the size of some pills doctors prescribe for us. Keep up with checking your blood pressure and make sure you keep it in the acceptable ranges. As for your left leg and arm, seems you have come a long way and still have a way to go…but look at your improvement thus far and keep away from that “why me” crap that isn’t you and don’t feel embarrassed around your friends…the all understand for the most part. Coping with your pain is an every day thing but hopefully some day it will all disappear and wont that be great. By the way, pole dancing might help you some but be sure and don’t let go of the pole. Keep your rings close and wear them when you can because the mean something special to you now days! Presently you can handle Oscar but as he grows it will be harder for you to control him on your walks. Have a wonderful day!
Hello – Thank you for your comments. Yes taking medication on a daily basis is a pain but necessary. Left arm movement had improved – even if it was more force coming from my shoulder. Asking “Why Me” questions is natural – it’s how I coped after that was important. Colin & friends have been great but I tried not to show any discomfort. I’ll leave the pole dancing as a career choice. Yes, the rings have been precious to me. As for Oscar – only time will tell. Take Care LINDA xxx